As most of you know, we had a house fire Friday night. We lost a lot of possessions and I lost a lot of my inventory. I have had a hard time coping with it all.
"Walk by Faith" I got this tattoo after my long court battle with Bailey Grace. It's always been a constant reminder of what I've walked thru and how far I've come. The past few days, I had lost a lot of faith. I asked why me? Instead of asking what can I learn from this. I cried myself to sleep every night worrying. I haven't even wanted to be around myself. I couldn't figure out why...Yes, we lost a lot and yes it temporarily shut my business down, but my friends and family have went out of their way to help me in so many ways. I sat here last night and said, this isn't me! I'm not a cry baby! I am strong! Why am I wallowing in self pity and doubt? I said something is missing, I'm not doing something right! My missing piece was lost faith. My problem was I wouldn't let go and accept people wanting to help me because of foolish pride and the number one thing was I've spent so much time crying and defeated that I hadn't handed all this to God. I can't do this alone and he can't help me if I don't let him. Then I read a devotion and it said, You of little faith, why are you so afraid? Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves and it was calm. I felt a peace that I haven't felt in days and I slept all night. I walked out this morning and looked down at my foot... "Walk by Faith"
I woke up this morning, my kids are safe, we haven't went without, we are blessed. I may not have it all, but having my family safe is all that matters. The rest will come together in God's time. You will drive yourself crazy trying to control something that isn't yours to control. Today is a new day. My faith is restored and my heart has peace and I am thankful.