Death by Gummy Bears


I'm SHOOK! Yes.. I just said it. Yesterday, if you told me I would use that word, I would have laughed. I'm a little behind with slang. I frequently laugh at people who use it... BUT NOT TODAY.
A little background, for those of you who do not know me. I left the corporate world a few years ago to focus on my business. My job is like the real life fixer upper- minus the huge crew, cute outfits, and the people who never seem to get dirty or sweat.
I'm not your average girl. My favorite place to shop is the hardware store. I'm not scared of much of anything... but there is one thing that scares me. SNAKES... but even snakes are afraid of snakes..
So today I'm minding my own business working.. I take a break and I grab my gummy bear vitamins and pop them in my mouth, I'm leaning down to pick up my phone charger and HOLY FREAKING SH!#!!!! A Snake!!!! I'm in the middle of having a massive heart attack and nearly shitting my pants.. running backwards... when I realize, I'm dying..
seriously...
I'm CHOKING ON MY GUMMY BEARS. At this point, I have a choice.. I can go back to the corner and get my water where the SNAKE IS and STOP CHOKING ...
but If I go back in the corner, I may die from the heart attack I'm having because of the snake!!!!!
What happens when you get scared to death twice????
I'm SHOOK! What the holy hell??? Is this how I'm gonna die?? I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears that people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that. Finally I start to ease my way back over to get my water. If I was moving any slower, I would have been going backwards... but I get my water and stop CHOKING, gain my composure and it's GONE!!!
At this point it's either him or me.. because again, IM SHOOK. I decide to call it a day and grab my phone charger .. and a shovel.. nothing is scarier than a resourceful idiot..but a SNAKE.
I look down... and it's a freaking LIZARD. I nearly CHOKED TO DEATH over a lizard.
Laugh all you want, but don't judge me 😂😂😂


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